19 September 2010
This decade seems to be a good one for going gray. My Google Search for "aging women gray hair" turned up an amazing variety of links. "Gray is the new black" is the teaser for one link. "Gray Hair is a Crown of Splendor" says another. (Huh!) Alternet and Huffington Post have something to say about graying. TIME has a 2007 article "The War Over Going Gray". You can learn why hair turns gray, read about links between stress and gray hair, find pictures of hairstyles for gray hair, and inquire into putative cures and treatments for gray hair. There are even claims that gray haired women get more hits on dating sites.
Going gray is a personal decision. 2008 was the year for me. Our youngest son had graduated from high school, so I no longer needed to worry about being mistaken for his grandparent. (Yes, it really did happen to my husband, who has been gray since his 30s.) Hubby and I were planning a number of trips abroad -- where would I get my hair colored and my acrylic nails repaired? So there was a practical reason to go gray. I was getting ready to retire, another pressure point relieved. And not having to fork out major $$ every six weeks for a touchup was simply a bonus.
There's no good way to go from color to gray. I consulted with the hairdresser, and opted for a very short cut. And I kept it short until the color had all grown out, about four months.
Like my mother and one of my sisters, my hair is salt and pepper. (My other sisters don't show much gray at all, and they're all older than me. Guess I got the wrong genes, but that's a post for another day.) Like my mother, I have a thick streak of white on top. Oh, how I would like to have a head of silver like Helen Mirren, but it is not to be.
The mop is curly and still quite thick, so I count my blessings. I let it grow long again, then cut it this spring before our last big trip. Right now it's in layers with the longest about chin length.
The texture as well as the color changed. Where I used to get by with a serum to control frizz, I now need a mousse. And I use purple shampoo to avoid yellowing. Most days I'm OK with the gray.
What really irritates me is how often I now get the little-old-lady treatment.
I bring my own reusable bags to the grocery store. They're sturdy and hold quite a lot. Sometimes it takes two hands to swing one out of the cart and into the car. So one day, as I'm manhandling my groceries (I lift weights three times a week, by the way) a nice woman getting out of her car in the space next to mine asks, "Can I help you with that, dear?" I look over my shoulder, trying to find the little old lady to whom she is speaking. Oh, wait! She's speaking to me!
She couldn't have been a day under 55. But her hair wasn't gray.